An abuser only needs proximity to keep harming a family

People think an abuser needs constant presence or control to keep harming a family.

He doesn’t.

All he needs is proximity.

And that closeness is precisely what the family court hands him — through contact orders, shared care, and the relentless pressure on mothers to "promote the relationship."

Once he has legal access to the children, he has ongoing access to the mother. He has the means to continue controlling, monitoring, threatening, and punishing her long after the relationship has ended.

The court doesn’t just fail to stop the abuse.

It delivers the proximity that allows it to continue.

You are not overreacting when you fear what contact will bring.

You are seeing the system clearly.