One year of mandatory joint custody: The ongoing ordeal of abused women and children

Article by Fotini Lambridi
Source: TVXS Independent News
Date: 07/12/2022
Link: https://tvxs.gr/news/ellada/enas-xronos-ypoxreotiki-synepimeleia-martyrio-ton-kakopoiimenon-gynaikon-kai-paidion-se/It has been one year since the law on mandatory joint custody came into force—a law that provoked reactions from the very first moment Minister of Justice Mr. Tsiaras submitted it to Parliament—and the results are now evident. TVXS.gr's report documents tragic cases in which custody is granted to a father who has abused the child's mother, and often the child itself, sometimes with the child being seized by the authorities at night.

Judges untrained in family matters are called upon to decide even which school a child will attend, since the two parents cannot agree on it. There are court decisions that often stipulate the child will stay 10 days with one parent and 20 with the other, regardless of the child's wishes, or that the child's residence will change every year in cases where one parent lives abroad. A breastfeeding mother was forced by the court to be separated from her infant for 10 days a month, with the obligation to pump milk and give it to the father. "Judges often decide according to the interest of one parent rather than the children, while abused mothers are now in absolute despair," says Kiki Petroulaki of the European Network Against Violence to tvxs.gr.

The arguments of experts and organizations, who said it was impossible for mandatory joint custody to solve the couple's problems for the benefit of the child, have been vindicated. But worse still, the voices who said this bill would strip away all protection for abused mothers and children and make women hostages of their abusers have also been vindicated.

The most characteristic example is the case in Ioannina, in which a mother, despite following the law to the letter, lost parental responsibility and the child ended up with the father, who, according to the child's testimony, was responsible for the abuse. "In reality, Greek courts are already accepting the argument of 'parental alienation' and the 'alienating mother,' which the international scientific community has unanimously condemned," says Kiki Petroulaki.

The unscientific and dangerous term "parental alienation" accepted in the courts

"Since the Tsiaras law, the term 'parental alienation' has been increasingly used in the courts, despite the strict recommendations of GREVIO, the committee of experts overseeing the implementation of the Istanbul Convention. Fathers who have been reported for domestic violence constantly talk about false allegations," says Kiki Petroulaki.

"The civil court—where child custody and visitation are discussed—is obliged to take into account the existence of domestic violence against the mother and the children, since the best interest of every child is to live in a family free from violence. However, what happens is that those accused of abuse try to distort the complaint, claiming that the mother is an alienator and is lying, as is the child itself. They claim that the child is being forced by the mother to lie, attributing it to 'parental alienation'."

"I remind you that women's organizations and bodies such as the ENAV, which support survivors of domestic violence and their children, fought to have this term removed from the bill, since it violates, among other things, the Istanbul Convention, and the minister modified it, calling it 'breakdown of relations.' However, fathers invoke it to request the removal of parental responsibility from the mother. It was deliberately placed in the law so it could be used as a weapon against mothers."

The term "parental alienation" is based on dangerous pseudoscientific views, as M. Alevizopoulou and G. Papadimitriou wrote in detail on tvxs.gr and as psychiatrist G. Nikolaidis has analyzed. Its originator, moreover, was among others a supporter of pedophilia.

Ioannina: Custody given to a father reported for taking the child to a sexual abuser

A characteristic case to see in practice the impact of the Tsiaras law on the lives of victims of domestic violence is that of Ioannina.

"Police officers entered and took a 6.5-year-old child from his bed at night to hand him over to the father, who, according to the child's testimony, is responsible for his abuse by a third party. It was an unjustified decision by a judge in Ioannina. The mother did everything the law requires. And yet, she could not protect the child. On the contrary, whatever action she took ultimately worked against the child and herself," says Kiki Petroulaki.

The child's mother was herself a victim of abuse by her ex-partner. She managed to separate and obtain custody of the child, yet she agreed to let the father see the child. "That continued until the child told her that his father was taking him somewhere where a man was sexually abusing him. The mother could not discover who this was, since the only detail the child provided was a name," says K. Petroulaki of the European Network Against Violence, from whom the mother sought help.

"She requested a decision to restrict the child's contact with the father, and it was not granted. Then the child started refusing to go, and the father used violence against both the mother and the child. So the mother, after this, did not want to allow the father to see the child. However, under the Tsiaras law, she is held accountable if she does not allow the father to see him, even though she had done everything required, even though she had immediately reported her suspicions and the details the child provided to the police. The police told her to keep handing the child over to the father, and that the father would be monitored by officers. The court then used this very fact against her. The judge said: why did you give him to the father if you were afraid the child was being abused? So you're lying. Even though this was a police decision. Even though the Tsiaras law required it of her.

In reality, whatever the mother did, she would lose. If she didn't hand the child over, she would be held accountable under the joint custody law, she would be an alienator; if she did hand him over, she would be a liar and an alienator.

The mother also followed the instructions of the juvenile prosecutor and turned to private psychologists, who concluded that what the child described had indeed happened. And after 9 months passed without any protection for the child and mother, the expert (forensic) assessments began… the child was "crushed" during the assessments, his account was questioned, he was brought face-to-face with his father… and the judge, in interpreting them, disregarded the initial reports, considering them unreliable because they came from private practitioners, and distorted the conclusion of the next two: they don't say the events didn't happen, only that no conclusions can be drawn.

They cannot draw conclusions, yet they snatch the child from his mother to hand him over, by court decision, to the person who, as it appears, is leading him into abuse. Without any protection for the child, without any oversight of his safety. Without any contact with his mother, with whom he has lived his entire life up to now. The mother is trying to overturn the decision, and we are writing a memorandum to the Supreme Court asking it to intervene."

Veria: Judges repeatedly grant custody to abusive fathers

As tvxs.gr has revealed, in Veria certain judges repeatedly grant custody of children to abusive spouses.

"The court gave custody of our children to my abusive ex-husband. He will only take the children when I stop breathing. There is no justice in this country," said M., an anesthesiologist by profession, the first to give her testimony to the site. Another woman from the same city followed, revealing to tvxs.gr that the same judges deprived her of her children by granting temporary custody to the partner from whom she had "escaped" because he sexually and verbally abused her.

The same happened to a third woman, despite the fact that she had submitted to the court even a video of her being beaten by her ex-husband.

"These decisions are largely based on the Tsiaras law, which gives 'willing' judges the right to act against the child and mother under the guise of the father's rights. What they keep repeating is that the court does not examine the man's behavior toward his wife but only whether he is a good father. But how can a father who is violent toward the mother of his child be considered good? And how is it possible that so many victims are forced to associate with their abusers? Because that is what the law did, in violation of Articles 26, 31 and 45 of the Istanbul Convention," says K. Petroulaki.

But a fourth incident was also recorded in Veria.

"A court gave 3 children to a man who has been convicted of shootings and against whom criminal proceedings for domestic violence against the mother are pending," says K. Petroulaki. "This shows us that in small places, with few judges, if you happen to get one with stereotypical or even misogynistic beliefs, you're finished. Women have no room to escape."

Trikala: She lost custody and her house

Under the Tsiaras law, no parent can make a decision regarding the child without the other's approval. As a result, since the law's passage, dozens of people have been flooding the courts seeking to resolve issues such as which school the child will attend.

In cases where there is no domestic violence, this results in the child being traumatized and decisions being made that do not make his life easier, or, even worse, that set the wrong foundations. But what happens in cases where an abused mother leaves to save herself? The answer is that the Tsiaras law does not let her, as we saw in the cases in Veria.

"A few months ago, a mother who was a victim of domestic violence, who had custody of her two children, wanted to move to another city. The father wasn't showing up anyway, wasn't seeking out the children. She moved cities, went to enroll the children in school, and could not, because the father's consent was required. The result? She went to court, and they took away her two children and her house!" says K. Petroulaki.

"Under the new Family Law, joint custody applies from the moment of separation, until the mother appeals and something is removed. After filing a complaint for domestic violence, you are obliged to call him and tell him to come see the child. If you don't do this, you risk being accused, as an alienator, of poor exercise of parental responsibility. Imagine a mother who runs away to save her life and the mental balance of her children, having to call her abuser and tell him: I'm here, come see the child!"

What happened before? "Mother and children were safe until a court decision was issued that would determine matters of custody and contact with the children," explains Ms. Petroulaki.

The incidents are endless, not only in the above cities but also in Athens, Agrinio, Thessaloniki, and elsewhere. "The year that has passed has shown us in practice that this law puts abused women at great risk. Now it is difficult for them to leave an abusive relationship, and if they do, they remain in constant hostage-like conditions, they lose their children, they are exposed to danger," Ms. Petroulaki concludes.

"The era we are living through will certainly be written into history… And history will show whether, as a society, we truly want abuse victims to speak out, or whether we don't mean it, and will use the exemplary suffering and punishment of those who dared to speak as a way to silence all the rest forever!!!"